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Paulson, who served under U.S. President George W. Bush as the Secretary of the Treasury from 2006 to 2009, said the new leaderships of the two nations both attached great importance to promoting bilateral ties. He said the two countries share common opportunities as well as challenges in economic recovery, energy, environment and climate change, which required further cooperation.

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By Vinay Jain
See all Articles by vinay jainSee vinay jain's Expert PageGet Updates on Real EstateGet Updates on vinay jain Average: 1 Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote) Tweet
Demand has outstripped provide within the market of residential property in Pune,louboutin pas cher. Largely driven by demand between young professionals who are coming back in to figure within the town,louboutin, the Pune market has maintained the number of residential property created per year between 28-35,000. This was the crucial trend that was highlighted throughout the Real Estate plus Dialogue organised in Pune.
The panelists mentioned a variety of queries raised by patrons on Open House,cheap nfl jerseys. The queries ranged from cheap and luxury housing, how long to remain invested, housing demand in Pune and sectors that were driving demand within the market.
Despite the slowdown throughout the year 2008 to 2010,hollister, Pune real estate market stayed stable and continued to develop thirty thousand to thirty two thousand housing units every year. The key buyer section is that the young IT professionals operating in sunrise industries like retail, hospitals,nfl jerseys, biotechnology, FMCG, IT-ITeS and automobiles. The statistics show that though ladies aren't the main patrons, however in most of the affluent areas like Aundh, Baner, Pashan Road and Kalyani Nagar, 7 to 11.5 per cent are ladies patrons.
In spite of a little increase in costs and substantial rise in interest rates, demand for residential property in Pune has been robust. In December 2010, regarding 75 percent of the whole stock was sold out,karen millen, thus solely 25 percent was accessible. In June 2011, it had been at seventy eight percent sell off. So, despite of latest stock being brought in,louboutin, the share been sold and has gone up clearly indicating that demand is surpassed the costs. Demand is all across,karen millen outlet. In share terms huge residential units of 2500 sq ft and above is that the largest provider category,hollister uk.
While construction prices have gone up by nearly thirty percent the costs have gone up by solely 15%. Customers are taking loans and coming into the acquisition cycle early. By the time construction ends solely five percent of stock is left. Costs don't amendment thus dramatically at possession,louboutin pas cher. Patrons are seen to be maxing out their capability to purchase for in an under-construction residential property in Pune at an early stage. Payout for the primary twelve months is barely interest rate on the tiny pre-EMIs until the salary goes up.
One of the main issues raised by users was that charges like VAT and service tax form part of the extra prices of purchasing for a property in Pune. These are obligatory charges levied by Municipal, State or Central authorities. However, if the additional charges are correlated with tax,michael kors watches, the client has to return to the Agreement on whose liability extra taxation is.
Addressing the woes of a standard man longing for reasonable choices, raised the priority that the govt thinks it's solely the wealthy who are purchasing for residences. They're not realizing that constant laws are applicable for the common man additionally. Sooner or later, these individuals won't be ready to afford homes. Eventually we'll not have reasonable housing choices.
For investors who are seeking best returns out of property investments,ray ban, users got to stay invested for 5-7 years for best results. Purely as an investment, don’t suppose you'll rule out a whole category like luxury. If you're investing for an annual income and capital appreciation, your annual returns are often nice in luxury property with 4.5/5% annual return for a property in Pune. You ought to be purchasing for the right kind of property and think about holding on to it.
On the demand of luxury housing in Pune the developers concurred that luxury keeps re-inventing relying upon the buyer’s expectations. For a feature like shower panel or rain shower in a house, the developer installs such a facility in their upcoming residential property in Pune solely once seeing a substantial demand for such options.
Key Takeaways:
The property market in Pune has maintained the quantity of residential units created per year between 28000-35000.
In spite of a small increase in costs and positive rise in interest rates the demand of property in Pune has been robust.
Users got to stay invested for 5-7 years for best results
While construction prices have gone up by virtually thirty percent the costs have gone up by solely fifteen percent.
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Spending less and saving more are lifelong living skills that need time to develop. Unless and otherwise, you have a clear written budget, you will lose your focus and go after consumerism and materialism.

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As with the Fordson tractors 1920’s introduction to farmers, today’s manufacturing has evolved dramatically and created disruptive technologies. Robots, software, customized computer models, computer assisted design and modern communications mean that we produce ever more sophisticated products, in greater volumes, and at lower prices, while needing fewer workers per unit of production. The workers that are needed today require better education, and skills than the production line workers of yore.
by: Geoff Ficke
The Ford Motor Company was always seeking new avenues of distribution and business opportunities,nfl jerseys. Ford had grown up in then-rural Michigan and was immersed in the farm world of the age. In the 1920’s Ford introduced the first mass-produced farm tractor, the Fordson. The machine sold for under $400 and revolutionized farming,michael kors watches. It quickly became cheaper and less costly to own and maintain a Fordson tractor than a horse.
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By Geoff Ficke
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We are all aware of the history of Henry Ford and his invention of the production line to mass-produce Model-T’s. Ford did not invent the automobile, he simply invented a method to produce cars in mass volumes and make them available for virtually anyone wishing to purchase a horse-less carriage. He also revolutionized the agriculture business with totally unforeseen consequences.
In early 20th century America the vast majority of people living in rural areas eked out a living in agriculture. Farms were small, often sharecropped,louboutin pas cher. The planting and harvesting was labor intensive and horses provided the only source of energy for mechanized tilling. The vagaries of weather and drought have always made farming difficult. Crops were mainly grown for consumption by the farmer’s family, with any extra produce bartered for needed goods,louboutin pas cher.
The displacement is as painful today as it was on the farm of the 1920’s. However,wholesale nfl jerseys, the benefits to society accruing from modern manufacturing technologies and systems, just like the advances in farming owing to mechanization, cannot be denied. Only the Luddites of the 19th century and there modern adherents believe life is not more comfortable today and more people have more access to more goods and services at lower prices that at any time in history.
When I was growing up in an industrial area of America in the 1960’s many of my contemporaries went to work with their fathers at the local mill or factory. These were overwhelmingly union jobs. Each of my buddies at that time thought they would be employed for life like their fathers had been. It has worked out that none are where they started, not one,oakley sunglasses.
Farmers quickly gravitated to the Fordson tractor. Crop yield per acre expanded exponentially. Farmers produced so much crop yield per acre that by the middle of the 1920’s we were growing far more food than the country could consume. Prices plummeted. The need for day laborers declined precipitously and rural unemployment exploded.
Henry Ford did not sell the Fordson tractor to instigate the Great Depression,michael kors uk. The product was a small,hollister uk, inadvertent contributing factor,abercrombie. The inability of markets of that day to allocate resources and find markets for the massive increases in crops harvested was a systemic failure. Today, we manufacture products that are consumed quickly and create the thirst for more inventions and technologically advances. We are all better off as a result.
We have a seemingly similar situation occurring today. We constantly read headlines about the dying manufacturing sector in the United States. Politicians love to visit deserted factories and decry the decline of manufacturing in a wide range of formerly profitable industries. And yet, manufacturing in America is setting records for volumes produced, shipped and invoiced. How can this dichotomy exist?
Change is hard and often inconvenient. We live during an age of massive change unlike any time in history. The understanding of and acceptance of modern realities insure that most people will benefit from advances in technology. Those that do not want to change and accept the new order of things will be left behind.
The collapse of crop prices,lunettes ray ban, unemployment,ray ban, and the Great Plains drought were significant contributors to the start of the Great Depression,nfl jerseys. The Fordson was an amazing improvement in the productivity and ability of farmers to lead more comfortable lifestyles. However, the “Law of Unintended Consequences” reared its ugly head in this instance. The creative disruption caused by this product was thrust on a market that could not adjust efficiently or quickly to its significance.
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Spending less and saving more are lifelong living skills that need time to develop. Unless and otherwise, you have a clear written budget, you will lose your focus and go after consumerism and materialism.

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All of these annoyances are really symptoms of a mind that's moving too fast and in too many directions. When Mercury turns retrograde it's time to do all of the "re-" words: reconsider, review, rehearse, and remind. It's a time to revisit where we've been, realign with our goals, and recommit to what's important.
Moving from Libra back into Virgo describes a period when our focus will return from socializing back to working; from compromising back to discerning; from expressing back to analyzing. Virgo energy wants to plan,cheap oakley sunglasses, order, and schedule. With Mercury moving back to this sign it's time for us to look for things in our life that need to be replanned,nfl jerseys, reordered, and rescheduled.
Mercury retrograde periods are good times for doing lots of things that require you to go back over something,oakley sunglasses. For example, editing a paper or manuscript,karen millen, cleaning out files and closets, renewing subscriptions,louboutin, licenses or registrations, or reconnecting with old friends. Give yourself permission over the next three weeks to slow down, clean up loose ends, and develop a mind like water. Namaste'
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The effects of this phenomena include minor mishaps with communication, transportation, and paperwork- all things that are under Mercury's domain. For example, losing your keys, dealing with a computer crash, or misreading important contracts are more likely during the retrograde periods.
About thee times a year the universe gives us the opportunity to become more mindful when Mercury turns retrograde. This means that from our perspective on Earth Mercury appears to move backwards. This is only an optical illusion caused by where the two planets are in their yearly orbits.
By Ron Archer
See all Articles by Ron ArcherSee Ron Archer&#039,louboutin pas cher;s Expert PageGet Updates on AstrologyGet Updates on Ron Archer Average: 3.666665 Your rating: None Average: 3.7 (3 votes) Tweet
"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence,louboutin. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers." -Thich Nhat Hanh
Wikipedia defines mindfulness as:
Mindfulness is calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. Mindfulness plays a central role in the teaching of the Buddha where it is affirmed that "correct" or "right" mindfulness is the critical factor in the path to liberation and subsequent enlightenment.
In astrology the planet Mercury is a symbol for our mind,hollister, ideas, and communication and learning styles. Mercury is never more than 28 degrees away from the Sun, symbolizng how closely our mind relfects our true inner selves.
It's Saturday morning and I just completed my "weekly review." For those not familiar with the popular "Getting Things Done" book and methodolgy, the weekly review is part of an overall system for managing projects and tasks.
Mercury will be retrograde from September 7, 2009 to September 30, 2009. During that time it will move from 6 degrees Libra back to 21 degrees Virgo,louboutin pas cher, where it was in mid-August. Think back (re-member!) to mid-August. It's time to review what was happening then, re-engage with something that was left unfinished, and revitalize it.
The lesson of Mercury retrograde is to simply be more mindful- stop and think. Don't be afraid to sign a contract; read it twice and make sure you understand what it contains. Don't worry about losing your keys; look where you're putting them. Don't fret about a computer crash,cheap nfl jerseys; back up your computer now.
David Allen, who created this system, also practices karate. At the beginning of the book David uses a phrase from martial arts: "mind like water." He says to imagine throwing a pebble into a still pond. The water ripples appropriately to the weight and mass of the pebble, and then returns to calm. David advocates his GTD system so that we too can have a mind like water- calm, responding to inputs appropriately- not overreacting or underreacting- and then returning to a state of calm. It's really about developing a state of mindfulness.
During the rerograde period Mercury will make a couple of stressful contacts to other planets. On September 17th Mercury will be challenged by Pluto,hollister uk. On this day we may be forced to face some news or facts that we'd rather avoid. Chances are it's something that we avoided back in August and now we have to reconsider it. Around the 23rd Mercury will join up with Saturn and oppose Uranus. We'll have to decide whether to cling to the past or accept a new idea, plan,nfl jerseys, or proposition. No need to rush into making your choice; Mercury will pass back over this spot in early October after it begins moving direct again.
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and began asking questions all at once. “Really

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Spending less and saving more are lifelong living skills that need time to develop. Unless and otherwise, you have a clear written budget, you will lose your focus and go after consumerism and materialism.

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Accept yourself as you are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you never get it done and you can't get it wrong.
The second secret to manifesting your dreams and desires is to learn that you will never be finished and you will always happily want to manifest new experiences. Imagine receiving everything you want right now and never wanting anything else ever again. It would be like eating all the wonderful food you were meant to eat for the rest of your life all at once. I know I wouldn’t want that. I like the way a meal comes just at the right time, and I can enjoy that meal in that moment and know the next one will come when I need and desire it. So knowing you are never done,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that you never have to reach a finishing line where you have achieved all you ever wanted,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], should give you a great sense of relief. Not only do you never get it done, but also, you can never get it wrong.
You are forever growing and expanding,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while at the same time, you are perfect where you are at any given moment. In other words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wherever you are right now is exactly where you need to be on your path to manifesting what you want. And when you get what you want now, you will continue to want more to align with your continual evolution.
Does it give you a sense of relief to know that you are perfect as you are and where you are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that there is no goalpost to strive for to reach perfection and that you can never get it wrong? Whatever negative or joyous emotions you are feeling at this moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is flawless in that moment of time for you on your journey towards where you want to go and where you want to be.
The basic understanding that is the foundation of this work is that well-being is our inherent state of being. We don’t have to create well-being and we don't have to fix ourselves or the world around us to experience it; we just need to stop the resistant thoughts that hold us back from experiencing our natural well-being,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Also remember that the true essence of who you are is Pure Conscious Awareness, expressing itself as form in physical reality,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and we are much more than we generally think we are. And so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the broader scheme of things, nothing has ever really gone wrong and nothing needs to be fixed within you. You are perfect; all you are doing here is having an experience of physical reality where you get to create whatever you choose. We are here to help expand the universe. And we are doing a wonderful job, so relax and know that all is well.
Embrace where you are now, love who you are and who you are becoming.
Affirmation to use: Source (which is my Inner Being) always accepts who I am and loves me completely and unconditionally.
By Chris Spink
See all Articles by Chris SpinkSee Chris Spink&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Law of AttractionGet Updates on Chris Spink Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
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Nutrition can be a useful thing. No really, it can be. In terms of taking better care of yourself through a healthier diet to make yourself healthier is truly a useful thing. To start learning some basics as to how to make this work for you, refer to the tips below.

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By Deborah Lindstrom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
See all Articles by Deborah LindstromGet Updates on Overcoming Adultery and InfidelityGet Updates on Deborah Lindstrom Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
A cheating husband or wife is not that rare. Even though males are more likely to be unfaithful, women are actually making up ground. It truly is a disaster to think about how marriage is now thought to be unimportant. Understand that an affair shouldn’t always end up in divorce.
The unhappy news is that cheating is becoming very common. The problem is even made worse by modern communications technology which makes it easier to be unfaithful. Some believe that online romantic relationships are not considered cheating. Emotional affairs and office romances are not regarded by some people as cheating. The truth is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as soon as there is an emotional investment made, it could certainly be considered being unfaithful.
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We are going to talk about how to survive an affair here,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It is extremely painful to learn that the individual you believe in the most has betrayed you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. But that isn't going to imply that you just can't win. It's possible to learn ways to respond to the feelings and thoughts brought about by the cheating,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Whilst you may think that you might not be able to forgive your unfaithful husband or wife at this moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do not make hasty moves. You’ve heard it before and you’re possibly getting tired of hearing it but it’s true that time heals all wounds. Do not be too hasty in making moves. You must allow some time to pass to make sure that the actions you will be making aren't depending on emotions. Often,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], selecting to stay together is the best decision.
Our society is comprised of the basic foundation called the family. The society could be more cohesive when the foundation is strong,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Marriage as well as the family have both been under attack in the past few decades. It's no longer considered as essential as it was once,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It’s typical to feel like you've been had when you discover an extramarital affair. You believe that there's no way that your spouse would become unfaithful yet it happened. It is perfectly normal to feel that way however when you have the strength to distance yourself from the emotion, try to bear in mind it was not your fault. It's not you who made a decision to be unfaithful. Don't blame yourself but focus on what can be done to survive the affair.
Quite typically, the first impulse of victims of cheating is to deny that it happened. You might not say it with words but in your head, you hope that it is untrue. The best plan of action would be to acknowledge the truth that the cheating happened because there’s absolutely nothing you can do to alter the past. Moving forward is going to be possible only after you learn to accept.
It's going to be your choice if you would like forgive your cheating spouse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Success in repairing a married relationship is possible just like over fifty percent of married couples who suffered from cheating report. Couples who decided to leave each other typically report being unsatisfied with their new life. Disappointment is also typical for individuals who choose to get married again after divorcing due to cheating,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Preserving the marriage is often the wise option,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Nutrition can be a useful thing. No really, it can be. In terms of taking better care of yourself through a healthier diet to make yourself healthier is truly a useful thing. To start learning some basics as to how to make this work for you, refer to the tips below.

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By William Mason
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•Use olive oil, fish oil or flax seed oil in preparing your meals such as dressing your salads.
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Coping with Bleeding Hemorrhoids
The foods that will make you constipate are cheese, meats and other fatty foods. If the specific spicy food your eat fits on this definition like chicken wings with hot sauce and butter plus blue cheese dressing – you have higher chances of suffering from constipation. It will then be attributed to bleeding hemorrhoids. In this situation, it is not the spices or the hot peppers that cause your bleeding hemorrhoids but the high fatty foods. Take note that the spicy foods that are rich in fiber like burrito with black beans,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], brown rice and vegetables with hot and chili peppers could prevent constipation. It will not be also a contributory factor to bleeding hemorrhoids.
Understanding Bleeding Hemorrhoids and Spicy Foods
What are Bleeding Hemorrhoids?
Hemorrhoids are inflamed and swollen veins in your rectum and anus regions which can tear because of constipation and diarrhea. It can result to bleeding hemorrhoids. You will know this whenever you wipe after a bowel movement. The toilet paper has bright red blood stain or if your stool has blood on it. Both external and internal hemorrhoids can be itchy, painful and irritating.
•Consume excellent source of fiber such as carrots,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cabbage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], peas, cauliflowers and corn.
Deal with bleeding hemorrhoids through making right foods choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
•Eat fruits rich in vitamins such as bananas, apples,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], prunes, kiwi and oranges.
The most important thing that you need to remember in managing your hemorrhoids is to always hydrate. Squeeze some lemonade or orange juice. Make water available inside your home or wherever you go by bringing with you a sippy tumbler,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
•Go for berries, like blueberry, blackberry and raspberry that prevent swelling of your hemorrhoidal veins.
One of the proven solutions in bleeding hemorrhoids is changing your lifestyle. You will definitely get relieved from discomfort and pain. Remember, whatever your health condition is it reflects what you eat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what you do and how you live your life.
Hot spices such as chili peppers contain different health benefits such as excellent antioxidants and rich in vitamins. These are essential as well to add in the flavor in the foods you eat without consuming too much calories. In fact, hot spices are excellent add-ons to your foods in order to increase your level of metabolism. However, if you belong to the population of people suffering from hemorrhoids, you will definitely hesitate to consume spicy foods because of fear of aggravating the pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], discomfort and itchiness of your hemorrhoids. According to some researches, spices are not the sole root cause of bleeding hemorrhoids. These may cause you to suffer from stomach upset that can intensify hemorrhoid problems.
•Eat green vegetables that are rich in iron like spinach,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], broccoli and spinach.
•Add garlic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ginger and onion in your meals because they are excellent to repair tissues.
A study published in a medical journal called “Diseases of the Colon and Rectum” that determined red hot chili powder will not have any effect on the aggravation or formation of hemorrhoids. However, based on the personal observations of some people, consumption of coffee, alcohol and spicy foods will make hemorrhoids worse.
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Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do.

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Every company who has a big clientele needs telecommunication services. The company has confidently entered into Middle eat market,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It recently opens its office at Dubai and has set the fiscal target for current year’s business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Reddy announce the company’s future objective
"For this fiscal we are targeting a revenue of around Rs.120 crore of with around Rs.100 crore will be from the BFSI sector and the balance from other verticals like telecom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], auto and others,"
The company will be opening a new 20,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],000 sq. ft. development center in Chennai soon.
This would be quite surprising that a lot of software testing companies appears on the surface and later on change their status as an IT adoption lifecycle. The software companies that do not deal bluntly with software implementation can never lift up their business and corporate identity. In this context N.N. Subramanian, director-program and process assurance services said,
A lot of poor quality IT solutions would have got injected into a software implementation program by the time a testing company is engaged towards the latter part of IT adoption lifecycle,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Frank Martin
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Software testing company has now been opening up new horizon of success. As they are realizing the scope of the IT, they have broadened their caliber in IT sphere. Software companies can contribute a huge share in any country economy. This is the rising industry that can revolutionize and reshape the country economy and information technology sector that results in more jobs and more prosperity. This example is set by Indian Software Testing Company named Maveric Systems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an independent software testing company is hiring 200 more people this fiscal year. The company has started its new venture in telecom sector that is intended to expand to Dubai.
The company mainly deals in banking, financial services and the insurance (BFSI) domains with 780 employees. The company has established its domain competence in software testing and in providing software solutions.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
"Based on our customer demand we have decided to go up in the software testing value chain by partnering with our clients across the entire IT (information technology) adoption life cycle,"
Ranga Reddy, co-founder and CEO of Maveric Systems said here Friday.
He further added that Maveric can maintain its position in telecom sector,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because there are more similarities in the operations of BFSI (Banking,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Financial Services and Insuarance) and telecom companies when it comes to customer service.
The company has extended its exposure from software testing services and steps in Telecom sector. We have to see is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how this company develops its strategy to sustain in telecom sector,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is what everyone is waiting for.
However, the company’s main concern would be on defect prevention and defect detection. This stance is only a step forward in collaboration with associate clients in the areas of IT adoption lifecycle.
The company official highlight its future goalmouths and looks determined as Reddy said
"Our approach is holistic; we will provide a comprehensive solution spanning the entire project lifecycle of our clients. The global assurance market is estimated to be about $39 billion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],"
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Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do.

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Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
When most people hear the phrase, private air travel, the usual image that comes to mind is a jet-setting movie star or CEO, reclining in a leather sofa bed on his Gulfstream Jet 30,000 feet in the air. However, in reality there are tens of thousands of aircrafts available for rental throughout the United States on any given day. In this article,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we will touch on three different ways that organizations and individuals manage to utilize private air travel without having to be a multi-millionaire.
Hourly Rental
There are many aviation companies as well as private owners who offer their aircraft for private rental. Unlike chartering a jet, a private aircraft rental does not come with a pilot, and certainly not any scantily clad stewardesses. Typically the types of plane rental options that come by the hour involve aircrafts such as a Cessna Skyhawk or a Piper Arrow, both of which qualify as small aircrafts
Not just anybody off the street can go rent a plane though. Qualification requirements include a valid pilot’s license,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a valid flight physical (medical check-up),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and proof of renters insurance. Additionally, many plane owners require proof of coverage under a non-owned liability insurance policy to protect against the unlikely but very dangerous scenario of an accident.
Aircraft Leasing
For larger aircraft, there are several leasing options that are typically available. The first is known as ACMI,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which stands for Aircraft,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Crew, Maintenance, and Insurance. Under an ACMI lease, the lessor provides the aircraft, a complete paid crew,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and aircraft maintenance and insurance. The lessee has pay for all fuel, landing, handling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], parking, and storage fees,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as well as visa and duty fees and luggage/passenger insurance as applicable. ACMI lease lengths are usually shorter in length, as the lessee typically guarantees a minimum number of flying hours per month,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and is charged accordingly whether or not they use them all. Sometimes an ACMI lease is also known as a wet or damp lease, but the exact differences between each term can vary from country to country.
A dry lease is a lease of a basic airplane without crew, insurance, maintenance or otherwise. The lessee is typically required to register the aircraft in their name, and the length of term is much longer lasting a minimum of two years and sometimes as many as seven or longer. Dry leases are typically used by leasing companies and banks.
Fractional Ownership
The concept of airplane fractional ownership is based around the idea of several owners splitting the purchase price of an airplane, and then paying an additional fee to a third party to handle scheduling, maintenance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and other incidentals. Often times, disputes can arise between owners who both want access to usage of the plane during the same dates, or when the plane is grounded during a requested time due to maintenance issues. Given the higher cost of owning a plane, even on a fractional basis, it is difficult for many of those involved with fractional ownership arrangements to accept that their aircraft is not always immediately available.
So in summary, while private flying will probably never be as readily accessible as commercial flights, you don’t necessarily have to go platinum on your next album or throw four touchdowns in the SuperBowl to gain access to it. Through a growing number of leasing, rental,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and fractional ownership programs, more and more Americans are flying private every year.
By Harry Short
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Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do.

iqsaianad

On the other hand, in terms of what plans will you be making the relationship good or bad? Have you been constantly nit-picking at your spouse’s short-comings? Will you express heartfelt appreciation frequently that your spouse is in your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and also for the wonderful things your spouse actually does for you? Do you think you're supportive? Have you listen whenever your partner needs to talk about something that is bothering him or her? Are you caring and affectionate?
Marriage can certainly be full of pleasure, but it can also be full of pain. For many people, it seems the happiness has actually been gone for so long that it's impossible to ever get it back. Even so it doesn't have to be like that. When considering how to save your marriage, there are several of things you should and shouldn't do to start getting your relationship back in control. However you have to be willing to look at yourself and make the required changes. Changes isn't easy, but if how to save your marriage in fact a priority to you, then carry on reading.
Is your marriage a two-way street, or must all things always be on your terms?
By Olivia Peter
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What exactly are you providing into the relationship?
While controlling behavior is definitely disturbing to the relationship, passive-aggressive behavior is as well. Passive-aggressive individuals choose to have their needs met in entirely unhealthy ways. Instead of being speaking up and sharing their actual needs or feelings, they say one thing and next behave in a way that typically subtly or not so subtly contradicts it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], typically in an attempt to get back at the other person.
Have you being passive-aggressive in your marriage?
A marriage is meant to be a teamwork,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not a dictatorship in such a person calls all the shots and demands the other to “obey”. Attempting to control your spouse often foster resentment. Your partner is naturally a single human being whose wants and needs may not usually cope with your own. Compromise is in fact necessary for a good marriage. Honoring and respecting his or her feelings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], desires and needs also could go perfectly towards developing a better, more loving relationship.
One of the first things you may need to do when considering how to save your marriage is to sit down and make a list of what you're actually contributing to the relationship. This is not a list for things like making cash to pay the mortgage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or cleaning up the house, or making time for the grocery shopping.
These are just a few questions to ask your-self if you concerned about your marriage. The only person you can change are in fact yourself, so if you are wanting to know how to save your marriage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you ought to get started with making changes in how you may interact with your partner. To make good changes, you'll likely find that your partner exactly does also.
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Your marriage is like a bank-account. You may be either making deposits for it or withdrawing from the bank account. In case you are again and again making withdrawals, the bank account will definitely run dry. You need to be making loads of deposits also if you learning how to save your marriage is important to you.
A lot of people don’t know how to be in a relationship without wanting to control it. If you are the kind of person who has to having all the things happen on your terms, then you're not only being incredibly selfish,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are also treat your spouse with disrespect. And maybe even your partner has put up with it for a long time, but if how to save your marriage is typically a concern for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], potentially it is because your partner had just enough.
Just for example, a passive-aggressive wife may tell her husband its okay if he like to spend the day playing golf together with his friends. However, the truth is she is definitely not happy about it all and probably decides to get back at him basically “accidentally” putting a new hot shirt in the wash with his underwear as she does laundry that day. Of course,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is also destructive to your marriage and certainly defeats the goal of how to save your marriage.
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Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do.

iqsaianad

Hexagon Nutrition Pvt. Ltd.,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a company that is an expert in food supplements and clinical nutrition has come up with a product, KalTame which is an artificial sweetener and can be used by people who are very conscious about their weight. The interesting aspect about this product is that it is a zero calorie sugar substitute. Its main component is Sucralose, which is an artificial sweetener and is about 600 times sweeter than sugar. The best part about Sucralose is that it is not carcinogenic unlike the compounds Aspartame, Saccharine etc…which are 200 times sweeter than sugar. The effect is such that it won’t add any calories to your body. This is indeed a life saver for all those people who have a sugar problem. Now, they can enjoy all the sweet dishes and relish the taste without any guilt or hesitation.
In today’s times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people’s lives are very demanding and exhaustive. Due to multiple challenges, people are constantly on the run to achieve their goals and dreams. In this run,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people often end up neglecting their food requirements,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which at a later stage has severe consequences. Medical practitioners and doctors have always opined that a balanced diet is the solution to all health problems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but due to the fast paced nature of our lifestyle, we often ignore the gaping holes in our diet.
The consumption of fast food is also a big factor in deteriorating health, and consumption of such food in great quantities can lead to obesity. With an out of control weight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a volley of health problems can attack the human body like Strokes, Diabetes, Sleep Apnea which indicates interrupted breathing during sleep etc… For a nourished body and mind, at least an hour of rigorous exercise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], every day, is absolutely necessary.
The constant demand of looking perfect all the time may sometimes overrule our sensibilities. And under that pressure, we may take decisions that may invite a great deal of regret. These days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the internet and various forms of media keep displaying immediate weight loss advertisements, promising weight loss which could be unhealthy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in a very short period of time. People these days do not have time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and everything has to be done fast; with such an ideology, they fall for such advertisements and end up causing more harm to their body.
By Deepa Mukharjee
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A result of following these advertisements is a series of complex health problems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], like Anorexia, Bulimia et al. It is suggested that eating habits should be thought about, and necessary steps must be taken to make amends. For instance, whole wheat foods must be consumed and the intake of fruits and vegetables should be balanced, too. Whole wheat foods are filling, and have fewer calories than food which is oily and full of fat.
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Physical activity should be encouraged, as it is necessary to maintain constancy in weight even if the person might not be overweight. Due to hectic schedules, people miss out on a nutritious diet and face dire consequences. Due to this, dieticians and nutritionists suggest natural supplements in prescribed quantities. These supplements compensate for the absence of missing nutrients, and provide the body with the nutrition that it requires.
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Everywhere you go, you find articles which tells you how to improve your life, books telling you what you have not been doing for your life to be what you want it to be, and pamphlets to meetings to discuss those books, what you do not come across often is what not to do.

iqsaianad

In addition to his concern about the size and function of his penis, the male may have shame about his anxiety! Now, how sexy is that? The man thinks he shouldn’t be anxious and feels shameful. The result is that he becomes more emotionally isolated from his partner and more turned off. Sex becomes something that isolates the lovers rather than bringing them closer together.
A new client came for a consultation recently. His distress was centered around compulsive enactments of themes of sexual dominance and submission where the female is fearful and vulnerable and he assumes the power in the play. While he didn’t report any family-of-origin traumas, he reported that he’d always had “a touch” of autism as a child. He felt disconnected to his peers and especially shut out from the mystifying world of girls.
The mind is scattered when involved with addictive sex; thoughts run the gamut of thoughts about past sexual splendor with no recall of the negative consequences (euphoric recall) to thoughts about future sexual exploits (fantasy). However, sumptuous sex with a cherished other requires the ability to maintain awareness of moment-to-moment sensation. Depth of involvement in a sexual trance increases as day-to-day reality fades, replaced by increasing concentration on the sexual reality of the moment.
Can a sex addict return to the natural expression of sex and receive its benefits?
The Truth Difference
Your personal well being and your ability to be intimate with another cannot survive your dislike or disrespect of yourself. If you dislike yourself, you’ll never be comfortable with your sexuality. If you hold a lot of self-judgment about your past sexual behaviors, identify yourself as a whole, valuable person who has an addictive behavior. Remember – who you are essentially is separate from your behaviors.
The discussion in this book so far has focused primarily on the different ways to cease and desist sexual behaviors that you know are eroding your self-esteem and your relationship. In AA terms, this involves “putting the plug in the jug” of destructive behavior so that the business of recovery can begin. Learning to choose how to stop the destructive behaviors and to make a conscious choice about how to channel your sexual energies is “clearing the runway” for optimal sex to develop.
The fear of being separated, rejected, abandoned or judged makes you concerned with the response of the “other” or “others”, and so keeps you from being your real self and ultimately prevents you from loving, since loving involves disclosing your true and authentic self to another.
Shame is again the culprit. You feel that if you told the truth about your sexual experiences, you’d be shamed, humiliated, rejected and abandoned.
The Gratification Difference
At profound depths of involvement in the sensual/physical/sexual moment, the individual becomes totally absorbed in the sexual reality and loses awareness of extraneous events. There can be an ecstatic sense of preoccupation and transformation in which self and other become one.
Good sex is a complex concoction of openness and secrecy, balance, risk and control, and personal satisfaction. These ingredients foster mutual fulfillment. Good sex –the quality kind that exists between healthy, consenting partners – requires an ability to be totally immersed in the moment (which is difficult for most people), ever-present to the sensuality of yourself, your partner, and attentive to life. Exciting, hot sex comes from being relational, that is, connecting deeply with both yourself and your partner.
Sexuality is both an expression of that intimacy and a bond that enhances intimacy. With this kind of personal/sexual intimacy, your growth experience as humans is energized, enhanced, and fueled. Intimacy is the most meaningful and courageous of human experiences. Through its experience, it is possible for you to “grow yourself up.
Lack of partner engagement.
By Dorothy Hayden, LCSW
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The Maturity Difference
Part of clearing the path to healthy sexuality means telling the truth about yourself – in a 12-step program, to a trusted therapist or a close friend. Eventually you’ll need to have an open, honest dialogue with your partner about your addiction.
You can never have an authentic sense of self if you are “other-validated”.
What prevents people from experiencing the upper limits of human sexual potential?
Yet these are the kinds of states that optimal related sex offers. Exciting, healthy, hot sex,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], comes from being relational, that is, connecting deeply with both yourself and your partner. We are sexual beings from the day we’re born until the day we die. Sex is fundamental to our lives and seems to be the area of life that most deeply touches our most personal issues. Our sexuality is a core expression of who we are. We can hide with sex, we can hide from sex, but when we are fully ourselves sexually, we no longer have to hide.
Addictive sex is compulsive sex, while sexual celebration emerges from conscious deliberate choice. The compulsion of addictive sex, must be detangled, understood and put to rest. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud coined the term “repetition compulsion” and it is referred to by therapists when they talk about an addict doing the “trauma” work. You keep doing “it” (the sex act) over and over again until you get it right. But you never do – get it right – because “it” happened in times past and the behavior is no longer appropriate for your adult self. Having a sexual compulsion is like dying from thirst, but always going to an empty well to quench it.
Through the experience of intimacy, you may experience yourself in some new, different, and more profound way. When I am close, I know you in your presence; when I am intimate I know myself in your presence. Intimacy is a remarkable experience. To feel and know myself in the presence of another is enlivening, enlightening, joyful and freeing. I can be who I am freely and fully in the presence of another. It is the only true freedom we have as human beings.
Getting treatment for shame is an essential part of recovery from addiction.
When an afflicted child reaches adulthood, he is haunted by shame. Combine this with the cultural messages about the “sinfulness” of sex and that a large part of the population feels shameful about sexual needs. Indeed, many of the dynamics of sex addiction are about managing sexual shame. Intense sexual arousal obviates sexual shame and allows for sexual activity. Sexual addiction makes sex so desirable it overrides shame.
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The focus on intercourse in “normal” sexuality keeps dysfunctional gender-roles in place. In this culturally embedded view of sexuality, the man must PERFORM and the woman must be desirable. The focus on male sexual potency creates the most common problem in sexual relating: PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.
From hot, erotic, related sex, you can begin to be open to spiritual energies you’ve never experienced before because of the strong connection you’ve made both with your authentic self and with your partner. Slowly your judgments strip away, together with your clothing, your pride and your fears. The lovers’ experience coalesces into a swirling energy that rises and bursts out of your head. When the boundaries of self and other are transcended in this swirl, it is possible to achieve an experience of your incontrovertible connection to the universe.
“It is impossible to have an intimate, connected relationship with another person if you carry a back-pack of secrets and lies.”
However, sexual desire and pleasure is our birthright. After all, we were created naked and with complementary genitals. There must have been a plan in mind.
Sex addiction is immature and narcissistic (self-centered). Like an infant, you require immediate gratification and cannot put off gratification in the service of a long-term goal. You may have problems in self-regulation. You cannot regulate your feelings internally. You need a sexual activity to help you feel good. Also like infants and children, you don’t have the ability to control your impulses. Impulse control is a mark of a healthy personality which can reflect on impulses and urges, think them through, and make decisions to let them pass.
Those who have a healthy sex life do not need substitutions or escape mechanisms in their relationships. In contrast, the sex addict requires it.
For Plato, Eros has a transcendent manifestation when the subject seeks to go beyond itself and form a communion with the other.
An Expanded Vision of Sexual Fulfillment
In contrast to shame-based sex addiction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], celebratory sex is open, not hidden. It involves honest communication between lovers, not lies and duplicity. Healthy sex exalts the individual and the couple. Sex addiction destroys both.
For some people, climbing a mountain is unthinkable work; for others it is a vacation. The sex addiction fantasy is that sexual gratification involves no effort at all. It’s like wanting to have the benefits of running a marathon without ever actually running. Good sex requires effort – but its effort that can result in self-transcendence and self-and-other celebration. The romantic view of sex suggests that if you love your partner (enough), and if your partner loves you (enough), desire and performance naturally follow. Working at desiring sex is a bit tricky. Pushing yourself to desire when one is not desirous is self-defeating. But working at the things that might effectively increase desire for sex often requires advanced preparation.
Addictive sex is based on immediate gratification and surrender to acting on impulses. Mature sex is a choice; one that entails focusing on the entirety of the experience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not just the immediate gratification of orgasm.
Good communication is crucial to healthy sex. You can greatly increase feelings of mutual respect, emotional closeness and sexual pleasure when you and your partner know how to communicate well with each other. Knowing how to talk openly and comfortably about sexual wants and desires can help you address issues that come up from time to time in the normal course of an on-going intimate/sexual relationship.
A former client had witnessed the protracted suffering and death by cancer of his beloved mother when he was six years old. His father was not able to give him the space to grieve the death, telling him he needed him to be the “little man” in the family. Years later, with unresolved grief as a catalyst, he became a compulsive cross-dresser and ruined his marriage. If he hadn’t been able to keep mother alive back when, he would keep her alive through becoming her in his cross-dressing erotic haze. Only when he was able to “do the grief work in therapy” was he able to lose interest in wearing women’s clothing.
The Scattered Mind vs. Moment-to-Moment
While orgasms are undeniably erotic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], orgasms and eroticism are quite different things. The fulfillment of sexual potential involves experiencing the upper limits of physical sensation together with the capacity for intellectual, emotional,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], aesthetic, and spiritual connectivity. Intense sexuality occurs within a context of profound emotion and meaning.
When intimacy and sex are pursued to validate your self-image and self-worth, you will never be able to really see and acknowledge someone else. Moreover, you will never know your true, authentic self. The ability to self-disclose and self-validate in the absence of validation from others is a disquieting and challenging task, but it can be done. People involved in these types of “validate me!” relationships become over-sensitive, reactive, combative, and controlling. This is not the stuff that hot, loving sex is made of.
Compulsion is a mental pressure of internal origin compelling you to think, act, or react in accordance with specific urges and energies that do no coincide with your habitual patterns of thought. For a person with a sexual compulsion, there is a “must have” quality to a particular sexual experience, regardless of a partner’s wants and needs. A compulsion is an irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation. There is a sense of being driven; it is obligatory — somehow destined to occur despite your better judgment. Compulsion’s home base is the unconscious mind where hurts and traumas of past experiences reside outside of conscious awareness.
Exciting, intimate, tender, ecstatic, hot sex is attainable if you’re willing to change your focus from non-related, self-centered sex to the joy of knowing yourself and your partner in sexual ecstasy.
Eastern approaches to eroticism based on Tantric Yoga emphasize self-discipline in focusing consciousness and sexual energy. Sexual potential is thought to require practice, discipline, and understanding the interaction among spiritual, emotional, and physical dimensions. This approach emphasizes spiritual and emotional transcendence through sex rather than orgasm.
Shame is an integral part of your “Addictive Prison”. In the first place,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shame-bound people do shameful sexual behaviors. So shame precedes the acting out. There is one particular feature of every addiction which is central to understanding the addictive process: a profound, discouraging sense of powerlessness over the addiction. The tail increasingly comes to way to dog, engendering shame about the addiction itself. We feel humiliated whenever we feel controlled by anything, but especially in the sexual experience because of the shameful connotations communicated by family, church and culture that sex is “bad”, “sinful”, “shameful”. Each time there is failure to break the addiction and regain power over it, the sex addict feels defeated. He grows to hate himself, disgusted by the helplessness, the lack of resolve, the lack of inner strength.
Never have I worked with a person who described their sexually addictive experiences with words like, fulfillment, satisfaction, closeness, or ecstasy.
Sexual intensity is more a function of emotional maturation than of physiological responsiveness.
The Urgency Difference
With healthy sex, you have awareness and empathy for your partner’s experiences. True eroticism arises from the particular energy created by two people who care for and respect each other. Most therapists in the sex therapy field focus on being able to sexually function. But “optimal” sex includes consideration of eroticism, intimacy and personal meaning in sexual behavior. The human capacity for intimacy and attachment gives profound emotional meaning to sexual experience. With these factors in place, human beings are capable of profound sexual experiences.
Over the years, the people I have worked with have used various words to describe the end result of their compulsive sexual behaviors: words like shame, anger, depression, anxiety, disappointment, self-hatred, hopelessness and helplessness, usually describe their subjective experience after the orgasm is over.
According to the wise words of Sophocles, “KNOW THYSELF” in order to know what you want and need sexually. Then you need to have the courage and self-assurance to communicate these desires to your partner, even in the face of possible rejection. You are ready for intimacy and related sex only after you have achieved a core sense of identity.
In order to arrive at a destination,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you have to have a map of the territory and a view of what the destination holds for you. There are two paths from which to choose with one path heading towards a healthy life, and the other towards self destruction. Knowing the differences between compulsive sex and wholesome, related sex serves as the compass for the journey.
Self-centered, compulsive sexuality, in recovery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will give way to a caring attachment to a partner. The partner is seen as the individual person she is, rather than solely as a sex object. Sex addicts sometimes have deficits in empathic listening and relating skills and may need to learn them to have more satisfying relationships.
“We can hide with sex,
we can hide from sex,
but when we are
fully ourselves sexually, we no longer have to hide.”
The role of sexuality in one’s spiritual development is evident when spirituality is conceptualized as the integration of all aspects of the person and the actualization of one’s fullest potential. Spiritual development divorced from religion and dogma is human development viewed from the perspective of an ongoing integration that results from openness to the experience of self-transcendence.
Right now, you maybe you have the experience of having two selves: the private self and the public self; the solid family man and the sexual deviant; the social self and the self that may spend six hours a day in isolation looking at pornography. I call it “The Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde” syndrome.
The addiction also functions as an escape from intense shame. Feelings of shame encountered anew in daily life, may serve as triggers to re-experience shaming experiences from early life. These often trigger an episode of sexually acting out, as a way to soothe the pain of shame. However, each new addictive episode also reproduces shame, which then activates the entire cycle, all over again.
Does Sex Take Work?
The person feeling shame thinks, “Whether all eyes are upon me or only my own, I feel deficient in some vital way as a human being.” The disturbance within the self produced shame, impacts not only self-esteem, but also the development of identity and the pursuit of intimacy. When shame captures the addictive personality, it grows like a cancerous growth. Shame precedes and enables sexual addiction. It follows sexual acting out. Addicts often suffer another bout of sexual acting out to alleviate the shame of acting out! Until treatment, it is a vicious, never-ending cycle.
In another case:
This might include scheduling an “intimacy time” with your partner; sending the kids to grandma’s for a few hours; disclosing your sexual dissatisfactions, demonstrating what you really want, and struggling through one’s possible anxiety and embarrassment, It might involve losing (or gaining) 30 pounds. It might involve keeping one’s integrity intact. Discarding the societal pathological beliefs about sex and developing your own definition of good sex takes work. Intense, erotic sex with a partner takes effort. However, effort in related, intense sex doesn’t feel like work; in mediocre sex it does. Intense sex and profound intimacy take more effort than most people want to invest. It takes a lot of personal development and work to mature enough to tolerate intense intimacy and eroticism.
A program of comprehensive sex addiction therapy is a gradual process of moving from the addiction “arousal template” in the brain, to a different (healthier and ultimately more satisfying) template. It’s a process of redefining sex, and changing the addictive imprint born from faulty understandings about sexuality and intimacy.
In health-based models of sexual potential, the upper limit of sexual desire is where one meets the God-within.
“Sexual compulsion” is an attempt to “undo” the traumatic experiences of the past. You were powerless to effect change as a child because you didn’t have the resources to take care of yourself. As an adult, through a repetition compulsion, you can achieve a sense of mastery over the sense of helplessness you experienced as a child. But this is faulty thinking.
It is essential that you detach your self-esteem from your sexual “capacities,” and gender-role behavior. Adequacy and eroticism should be detached from sexual functioning. There are handicapped people who transcend their disability and maintain eroticism and self-esteem intact,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even though they violate normal social expectations. Self-worth derived from sexual performance perpetuates the continual need to perform with its attendant anxieties.
Adherence to rigid gender-role stereotypes where sexual behaviors are dictated by cultural gender norms.
Viewing the goal of sexuality as intense orgasms. For some, the number of orgasms rather than their quality is the key to sexual fulfillment. It is a mis-perception that orgasm and repetitive copulation capacity is the sole determinate of sexual satisfaction.
A case in point:
Sexual potential comes from surrendering – that is, not trying. With a willingness to give up control along with your egotistic preoccupations, you’re in a state of not knowing, of just experiencing as you make a space for deep eroticism to emerge. The illusion of who you think you are, the mask of the false and social self, the need to perform or look good, together with your ego, gradually drop. Peak experiences of self-transcendence may occur. Shame is banished, replaced with deep serenity and contentment. Your thoughts and your bodily tensions relax and slow down. Time stops. Consciousness expands. The experience is similar to what the mystics describe as ecstasy.
The “Inner Validating” vs. “External Validating Difference
Pivotal to all addictions is the defense mechanism of denial. It’s been said that DENIAL means “Don’t Even Know I’m Lying”. So you lie to yourself. You lie to yourself about how out-of-control you are, that you have a serious problem that requires professional treatment, that you’re not hurting your spouse and children, that you’ve been isolated from friends and have stopped hobbies and activities that you used to enjoy.
Nothing beats it.
Eastern philosophy, particularly the Hindu tradition, sees physical sensual pleasure as one of several paths to liberation and the union of the individual with the universal. Sexual relations are considered a path to integration and expanded cosmic awareness. Eastern views celebrate sexual pleasure as a value in its own right. Kama, “the pursuit of love and pleasure, both sensual aesthetic”, is one of the goals of life in the Hindu tradition.
When he understands that his sexual fantasies and enactments were devised for him to take an active role in contrast to his passive experiences of being socially unwanted; when he recognizes that his sexual desires were based on a need to feel in control in contrast to his childhood feelings of powerlessness; when he discovers and acknowledges his own sense of self-esteem and appropriate self mastery, my hope is that he will be relieved of the compulsion and be free to explore equality in his relationships with women.
Self-validation produces an enhanced sense of self. Being “other-validated” you put your value as a person in the hands of other people. You sculpt your behavior and attitudes on the basis of not being rejected or judged by others. If you have a reflected sense of self,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you see the result of your actions as though through another’s eyes.
Addictive sexuality involves the search for “reflected validation”; that is, “if she/he desires me, I feel validated.” Healthy sex requires self-validation. You know you are sexy and desirable because your sexuality is a God-given part of who you are. You have no need to validate your sexuality through getting or not getting any particular response from your partner or through a fantasy connection on the computer.
Optimal sex requires a degree of psychological maturity. Perfect fulfillment of sexual potential is never achieved. It is a lifelong pursuit of personal development. It involves the conquest of self-centeredness, the transcendence of personal limitations, and the dauntless struggle to be fully human and fully sexual with a cherished other. The depth of connection in related sex far surpasses the fleeting physical pleasure of a sexually addictive behavior. Erotic, mature, intense sex makes sex addiction look like child’s play because it requires maturity and mutual caring for another that only an adult can bring into play.
Your “Secret World” is separate from your public self. The overwhelming need of your secret self is to protect it and hide it from other parts of your life. If addictive sex requires a double life, healthy sex enhances and celebrates who you really are, increases self esteem, and is empowering.
Two dissolve into one and a third energy, perhaps a spiritual energy, emerges. You meld into one entity and touch the silence of the universe. (Katehakis, pg. 205).
In the intimate and sexual bond, you appreciate your partner’s core potentialities, strengths and assets; as you disclose your wants and needs, you also are accepting of the partner’s self; loving synergy is involved in partner engagement.
Misconceptions about the function of intimacy. I’ve worked with people who say they want a healthy relationship. What, in fact, they are doing is desperately seeking someone to reassure them that they are worth loving. The quest for intimacy is not about the trials of knowing yourself and letting yourself be known; it’s about the quest for a “reflected” or “other-validated” sense of self. These people have ego deficits in validating and soothing themselves. Some people think they seek intimacy when what they are doing is looking for someone to help carry the burden of a dissatisfying relationship with themselves.
“Lying and Duplicity” are necessary to keep your “Secret World”, Secret!
Healthy sex enhances your self-esteem and allows you to enjoy and control your sexual energies without guilt, fear or shame.
For the sex addict, physical pleasure is fleeting and is only a numbing source for the excruciating emotional pain that triggered the sexual act. It’s a fallacy for anyone to think that sex addicts gain fulfillment from the sex act.
After you achieve a period of abstinence from self-destructive sexuality, you’re able to focus on personal growth and intimate sexual relating. (Katehakis, pg. 67)
Shame strikes deepest into the human psyche; it is a sickness within the self,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a disease of the spirit. It is the feeling of indignity, of defeat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of transgression, of inferiority and of alienation. Shame is experienced as an inner torment. It is a wound made from the inside, dividing us both from ourselves and from one another. Shame violates our essential dignity as human beings.
Sexuality that is like “kissing the face of God”
Sustaining a healthy, balanced sex life requires mindful attention to your senses, to the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual dimensions of yourself, as well as your partner. In profound intimate sex, nothing exists beyond the immediate presence of the two partners. Awareness of the room, or even the bed, may cease to exist as you are embraced by the sensual, erotic sense of the NOW.
Awareness Difference
Sex addicts escape into the “erotic haze” which involves dissociation from true feelings; healthy sex opens a person up to tremendous depth of feelings. In the addictive sexual state sexual experience is an avoidance of connection with your partner and your own feelings in the present. Addictive sex is devoid of love; in sexual recovery, sex is an expression of love. In intimate sex, you no longer hide out through fantasizing about others or dissociating. You are fully present with yourself and your partner, preparing for your journey into the erotic.
In marked contrast, Christian-dominated Western society promotes a division between spirit and body and is associated with original sin. In Western Christian mythology, sex is a barrier to be overcome. Humans are urged to achieve salvation by denial of the senses, especially the sexual impulses. Western culture and religion has failed to help people to integrate sexuality and spirituality. Contemporary Western values inhibit the exploration of human sexuality, rather than support it.
The sex addict’s pursuit of intense orgasms per se, often interferes with repeated attainment of transcendent eroticism and intimacy. As you know, orgasm can (and often does) occur without profound personal meaning. The capacity for intimacy and intense, hot sex is a function of personal development, rather than on physiological functioning.
Seeking personal validation through sexual performance,
The addiction serves as a substitute for shame-bound interpersonal needs. For example, the alcoholic who has a relationship with his bottle has substituted something else for a human relationship. All compulsive sexual acts are substitutes for human needs about which you feel shame.
Children can experience shame beginning from a very early age. Dysfunctional (non-nurturing) families that are emotionally, sexually or physically abusive serve as the spark that heats hot-beds of shame for their off springs. Neglect that is physically or emotionally depriving also contributes to the formation of a shame-bound personality in a child. The family isn’t the only source of shame; problems with peer relationships at school can also be very traumatizing.
Chart Your Course and Choose the Path
The outstanding quality of intimacy is the sense of being in touch with your real self. When “the other” also knows and is able to express his real self, intimacy happens. Intimacy can be defined as a close, trusting relationship between two people who are both willing to be emotionally open and honest with each other in spite of the risks that may be involved. Intimacy is also the joy of being known and accepted by another who is loved. The quest for intimacy is one of the oldest themes in Western civilization. However, although most people chase after intense sex and intimacy, few seem truly willing and able to find it.
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